Excerpts from the journal of a recovering adult child.
By Susan C.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I have been up since 7:00 AM. I have watched the sun rise over the Atlantic and I have recorded its progress with my camera, while in between shots, just sitting back and observing how the clouds looked before the sun appeared. They were tinged in silver as if God made them responsible for leading the sun upward — coaxing it, ever so gently, the silver tinged clouds were hand selected by God to point the way up and out.

It is written that every cloud has a silver lining. God showed me this morning, with his beautiful creation, that there have been and are many silver linings to the clouds of my life, and with each new dawning, the clouds may be different, but the silver lining — the hopes and dreams, the recovering people in my life — will ALWAYS be there for me. What a promise to expect and experience a different silver lining each day!

My husband is a silver lining, my recovering friends are silver linings, my mentor is, my therapy group is, my ACoA family is, all my lost children are, God is. They are all there for me, encouraging me, coaxing me up and out of the dark clouds that sometimes surround my life. All believing that, with God's help, I have it within my power to shine brightly. I no longer have to cower in fear that I may not be the brightest sun. I don't have to control the universe, and realizing that I am powerless to do so, I know that each day I do have the capability to shine as brilliantly as God chooses to make me shine and sparkle.

I have within my being the little girl that God created in His image — the innocent, spontaneous, trusting, uninhibited little girl who looks to her father with childlike faith and trust to take care of her every need. What a relief to know that my self-worth is not based on what I do, but rather who I am.

I am becoming a human being instead of a human doing! I have no power to control anyone or anything. I have no power over when or how the sun will rise. God controls my sunrise and only He can set the time or the brilliance or the placement of the clouds in relation to its rising. I am His sun to do with as he chooses. I have no power to modify, reflect or even shine without Him. God is my loving father who will always be there for me even when I feel I've been deserted or abandoned. God can never again be unavailable to me. He is my power and my strength. Without Him I have no power to shine afresh and anew with each new dawning.

Silence the voices, God, so I can hear only what you have to say to me. Inhibit the director, so that I might feel what the characters are experiencing. You are integrating me. You are making me one body, one soul, one heart, one mind. What wonderful, mind boggling lessons do you have in store for me today? What new discoveries and insight will we share today? I eagerly await, with childlike enthusiasm and anticipation, what you plan to share with me and teach me today in your own special and loving and tender way. Thank you God! I come expecting nothing, but know that I will receive everything you have in store for me.